


I'd rather die in peace

by vox_nihilio



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eighth Doctor is the War Doctor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Mental Breakdown, Names are Very Important to Timelords, Oneshot, Time War (Doctor Who), Timey-Wimey, don't really have a set master but I'm thinking Macqueen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24773734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vox_nihilio/pseuds/vox_nihilio
Summary: (If a limb is infected they cut it off. If a Name is too heavy to bear, it must be dropped)An alternate way the Doctor lost his Name in the Time War.
Relationships: The Doctor & The Master (Doctor Who)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	I'd rather die in peace

(The Doctor is slipping.)

He is fine. (He is tripping over his feet and smacking against the cold floor. He is dead. He regenerated. He hit his head so hard he was knocked unconscious. He has a broken leg and was taken prisoner of the Daleks.)

(The Doctor is slipping)

(He is all of them at once.)

The Doctor stumbles until one hand is firmly on the table and the other is pressed against his forehead.

There are muted sounds wrapping around him but he has no attention left for them, the throbbing drum of fractured time stealing it all away.

He is...

He is... 

(The Doctor is slipping)

The Doctor is (chained in the bowels of a dalek ship waiting for transport) and ( on the floor trapped in an endless cycle of regeneration, the remains of what was once a time loop holding him there until he reaches number Thirteen and all that's left is a corpse, but then the corpse starts regenerating) and (he is still standing, talking with his fellow renegades about a broken flux compactor)

The Doctor reaches for that timeline, twirling the frayed strings at the edge of it around his fingers. Then his blasted timelord senses notices 8 possible ways for the conversation to go in the next minute and his mind shatters.

(The Doctor is slipping)

In the timeline he is currently in, the one he is tilting over the edge from, his fingers clench the table until the knuckles are white, and a tremor runs through the other hand on his face.

"Just give me a moment." He murmurs. (says nothing at all) (shouts, why can't they be quiet for once) (screams and lunges at the Rani) (smashes his head agai-) "Timelines, that's all." 

"Doctor, you could describe the Time War with that sentence, and you'd certainly need more than a moment to process that." The Rani says wryly. 

(The Doctor Is slipping)

She is looking at him with an expression that reminds him far too much of the Brigadier's exasperation. (The Brigadier met the Doctor and took him in.) (The Brigadier never met the Doctor.) (The Brigadier shot the Doctor through both hearts the first time he figured out he was an alien.) (The Brigadier never existed.) (The Brigadier's grandfather got shot in the neck on Christmas Day in 1914, erasing the truce and his best friend from existence) and the Master's expression is unreadable.

The Doctor closes his eyes but they are already closed. He saw their faces in another timeline he is simultaneously experiencing at the same time. When his brain finally catches up in both timelines his knees buckle.

(The Doctor is slipping)

Before his knees can hit the ground an arm wraps around his waist and his head hit someone's shoulder. Their timeline smells like bitter ash. The Doctor, shaking, cannot move, cannot breathe. There is a hand on his neck, their nails digging into his skin, and lips directly on his ear. "Combine the timelines. Like how that old fool at the Academy told us. Come on Doctor, you've done impossible things, you can do this."

The Doctor does and it hurts. (He is fine) He whimpers and the Master shushes him. ( he is still standing, talking with his fellow renegades about a broken flux compactor) When the tears come there are nails stinging his neck and carding through his hair. (Murmurs, why can't they be quiet for once) The arm around his waist is tight and he is so tired. (The Brigadier met the Doctor and took him. He never told the Doctor how close his finger was to the trigger) The deja vu to his Academy days are so strong that he is almost nauseous from a punch he received as a child. (he sees their faces. The Master's expression is unreadable.)

(The Doctor still is slipping.)

(And finally the Doctor slips away and the pain ebbs, and He is numb.)

(If a limb is infected they cut it off. If a Name is too heavy to bear, it must be dropped)

When He comes to He is gasping into the shoulder of the Master's soot stained suit and His head pounds like drums. Distantly He realizes He can't feel the other renegades there. "Where?" He says and to His surprise finds His voice to be hoarse. Was He screaming?

"You should give The Rani more credit." The Master says next to His ear, still stroking the back of His neck. "She got the others out when it got bad. No need to see their fearless leader whimpering like a child."

In another time and other clothes he would bite back, make a wry comment, bare his teeth. But He has nothing left but the shattered pieces of a mirror. The Master accepted whatever the Doctor gave him, but the He is not the Doctor anymore, and He can feel the Master searching through the absence left behind.

The Master pulls back and looks at him. He tries to look away but the Master holds His face in his hands and traps Him there. He not-quite smiles and says "Hello Theta."

He is not the Doctor, but the young timelord who fought the Cloister Wars wasn't either. 

The pounding in his head fades to a background noise. A Timelord without a Name is one without an identity. But he has been rebaptized with an old name and that will have to be enough for this life, this war.

"Hello." Theta says and his timelines smell like blood.

(He is standing but at what cost.)

**Author's Note:**

> The way timelines work, and how damaging they became in the Time War are ideas I got from Time V.3.0. by Teyke, which is a much better fic then this. Please read it. 
> 
> Honestly not sure how this came up. I wanted to write the Master hugging the Doctor during a rough spot in the Time War and it became uh...this. I never liked the War Doctor, but I'm sure the Doctor would've still given up his Name. To a race that constantly has everything changing about themselves but their name that's very significant.


End file.
